There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.

There is something about sharing the discovery of a wonderful product that makes me so happy. I’m not sure what it is, but there are few things better than a good find! I haven’t reviewed anything in a while (let alone blogged!) so here are some good picks and one thing to stay away from!

As usual, most of this is coming from Sephora.

My birthday is on Monday so earlier this week I went to Sephora to redeem my free birthday gift. Last year I got a set of lipglosses that weren’t anything to write home about, so when I saw that this year they had Sephora Collection Beautiful Eyes Kit I was excited, but I wasn’t expecting too much. However I really like the mascara that comes in the kit! The full sized Sephora Brand Lash Plumper is $14, which is a steal in comparison to the Dior Iconic Mascara that I have been using. It definitely plumps your lashes, and even though it isn’t waterproof, there isn’t any smudging. However, I have been using a lash primer, so I am not sure about the mascara by itself.

When I went in to redeem my free gift I decided to look around. After purchasing the China Glaze Matte Magic Top Coat, I became obsessed with matte nail polishes. The only thing I don’t like about the Matte Magic is that it can be a little streaky depending on what color you put it over. I found a shelf of the Sephora by OPI matte nail polishes that were on sale for $5 each! They had a black and a pinkish purple color, so I got them both. I have been wearing the Domestic Goddess all week and it has barely chipped, which is saying a lot since when I am at work I am either typing or putting on latex gloves to draw blood. I love this color and I love the matte, as well!

Next up is not a rave review, but it does have a happy ending. I went into Sephora wanting a concealer. Late nights studying have wreaked havoc on my under eye circles. I happened to speak with a Benefit makeup artist who was just there for the day and she recommended the Benefit Erase Paste. When she put it on me, it looked amazing, but when I got home I couldn’t recreate it, of course. It was kind of goopy, a bit too yellow, and it made some lines visible that otherwise wouldn’t normally be so obvious. Sephora is great in that if you try a product and don’t like it, you can return it or exchange it. So I brought it back and this time I spoke with a Sephora beauty advisor. She asked me what I didn’t like about the first product and then we tried out a couple others. I ended up going home with the Hourglass Hidden Corrective Concealer. The best part was that when I went home and tried it myself the next day, it looked just as good! It is a bit pricey at $32 but it’ll last me forever. Plus, it comes in a lipstick type tube, so application is easy. It’s better than sticking my finger into a pot of concealer and getting under my nails!

The last thing I want to talk about is a hair product. Erika and Tyger gave me a free bottle of Paul Mitchell’s Hot Off The Press. It is a heat protectant with hold. Meaning it will protect your hair from your curling iron or flat iron, and it will help hold your style and protect it from humidity. I don’t flat iron my hair as often, usually just my bangs, but what I like to do is use this as a light weight hairspray once my hair is almost air dried. I have natural waves but there are still some pieces that like to stay straighter than I’d like them. The spray adds volume, hold and just the perfect amount of texture to my hair. I have very fine hair and this stuff doesn’t weigh it down at all. An added note, don’t go buying this at Target! A quote from Erika. “please do not buy professional salon products from supermarkets.  it’s called Diversion and it’s a big NO-NO in the beauty industry! if it isn’t purchased from a salon, we can’t guarantee the quality.  it could be expired. it could be water and piss. and it lowers the value of a professional product.”

So here is a picture with my makeup done, I’ve used the concealer, heat protectant spray and the mascara.

Well, I think that is about it for tonight. I’ll probably do a bit more homework for my Human Growth and Development class. It’s online so I want to get ahead while I can. Oh, I signed up for a tumblr. I don’t know how much I will post on it, I prefer facebook, but Erika and Candice are more about tumblr. We’ll see how it goes!

There is no more beautiful life than that of a student.

I have to admit, I’ve got it made. I work three days a week, go to school two days a week and I am probably making more than I was when I was working full time. I am grateful most days that I have the opportunity to go to school. Learning is one of those things that I have taken for granted in the past and that is why I chose to take a break from school after high school. I hated high school and I most certainly didn’t do well. The last thing I wanted was to go to college. What I didn’t realize was that all I really wanted to do was learn, just in a different way. What the training I received in the army taught me is that I learn more quickly if I just do it, even if I do it wrong the first few times. My math professor this semester always says, “You are going to get it wrong the first time, and that is okay. The best way to learn is to make a mistake.” By learning hands on not only do I remember things better, but the concept is less abstract. Training in the military is fast and hard. You have to learn a subject very well in a short period of time and then forget it just as quickly to make room for new information. But in the end, you’re expected to know everything from day one. For some reason this method worked for me. What I am finding now, in my second semester in college, is that every day I need to remind myself how great it is to learn. While it does seem overwhelming at times, what I am learning amazes me, and I hope I am able to continue my education for the rest of my life.

I haven’t added this in a while, either.

If truth is beauty, then how come no one has their hair done in a library?

I have two appointments next Wednesday. One in the morning with my gyn to discuss the issue of infertility and the second in the late afternoon to have my hair cut. I think that the first will determine the events of the second. Meaning, if Dr. Montgomery has a positive outlook and multiple options, my hair may just need a trim. However, if I leave his office disappointed, I may do something drastic to my hair. I think it is better therapy than eating a pint of Ben&Jerry’s- but don’t count that out either.

I am not a cynical person, and as I’ve gotten older I’ve found myself less tolerable of others cynicism and pessimism. I may come off naive because I try to be hopeful, but I’ve also learned a great deal about being realistic in the last year. However, I am struggling with defining hypocrisy.

Let me explain.

I started off 2009 with the hopes and fears that come along with starting a family. Or at least attempting to. I was anxious and excited, even now I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about becoming pregnant. January was fine, I didn’t expect anything, really. February wasn’t particularly brutal either. I think the hard came with March and the bundle of joy that is my youngest nephew Aiden. The months after that were like.. well, American Idol. The poor kids who get turned away from the judges? They only get turned away once, but we sit and watch contestant after contestant turn away from the camera in tears. It is kind of pathetic, and it loses its entertainment after the first 5. So month after month, Simon Cowell told me I wasn’t good enough. And I cried and I drank some wine and I cried some more. I got over it, persevered, and tried again. And yet again, Simon told me I wasn’t good enough. It was a really depressing cycle until after May. When May rolled around I was invited to the birth of Maya’s son, Jacob. My strength was renewed and I vowed to not let it get me down. Yes, each month was hard, particularly the ones where I thought I might be pregnant. But each let down hurt less and less.

I was hopeful in that each month was a new opportunity but realistic in that I have had a miscarriage before and there was the possibility that something might be off with my body. And again, hopeful in that this was all a part of God’s plan. God and his supposed plans have helped me through the hardest times in my life, even if I didn’t know it at the time. Even now, I remain faithful and confident that this will all make sense, eventually. But this is where the hypocrisy comes in. If I believe this is a part of a plan that I have no control over, would I be a hypocrite if I seek medical interventions to aid in reproduction? This isn’t a heart attack. This isn’t cancer. I am not preventing the flu. This is the basic human function of reproduction. This isn’t something I think I have a right to mess with. But I will be 25 this Monday. Do I have the patience to wait? Am I a hypocrite if I don’t? We have a biological clock for a reason, right? And if this plan is that I need to be some sort of saint and become a foster or adoptive parent, that is fine, but can’t I just experience pregnancy once?

I found myself watching Teen Mom the other day, and then “The Pregnancy Pact” came on earlier this week. Should I take that as a sign that I should have just taken my reproductive system and young fertility for granted and been careless as a teenager? It is hard to have someone tell you they are pregnant with shame and embarrassment in their voice, when you know you would give anything to be in their shoes, and they just don’t appreciate it or their ability. I’ve read blogs by women who have struggled with infertility for far longer than I have and I have read their unfiltered rants about friends who are pregnant or trying to conceive and invitations to baby showers. I thought it was sort of an overreaction. Then this week I have had two people tell me they were trying to get pregnant, one person tell me they were pregnant, and that coupled with all of the pregnant patients at work and my birthday coming up… it has hit me very hard. I wish getting pregnant was like starting a diet or a new workout routine; I wish I just had to muster up the motivation to do it!

Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama…

I recently invested a whopping $20 on a new travel coffee mug. It is made by Contigo, and when I think of the name it reminds me of that Beach Boys song.

I have a long, frustrating history with travel coffee mugs. I have a photo mug, I have a hot pink one, I have a pale pink one that has a clicky thing on top. They are all cute, they all leak, and none of them keep my coffee warm for more than an hour. I work primarily at the front desk at Quest and I need coffee to make it through the day. More recently I’ve taken to making coffee at home again to save money. The worst thing about taking the time and spending the money to make coffee at home (ultimately to save time and money that comes along with regular trip to Starbucks or even the gas station around the corner) is when your coffee goes to waste. Every day I would end up reaching for my coffee cup around 8:30 am (we open at 7 am) and taking a sip only to discover my time and effort is now room temperature. Don’t even get me started on how long it took to make the picture “collage” to put into my coffee mug.

So I did some research. I wasn’t willing to shell out $30 for a mug from Starbucks, so I opted to look on Target.com. One thing I like about purchasing things from Target is that their products tend to have customer reviews online. I can search for a product, read the reviews, and drive 5 minutes to Target and actually see it in person before committing to a purchase. When I searched Target for a travel mug the highest rated product was the Contigo West Loop Mug in blue. I read all 11 of the reviews, especially the lowest rated one. The lowest rating given was a 4 out of 5, and this was only because the customer noticed scratches on the outside of the mug after owning it for a short period of time. Kind of a ridiculous complaint, in my opinion. All of the reviewers raved about this mug. Not only is it 100% spill/leak proof, but it keeps your coffee HOT. Most reviews said it keeps hot beverages hot/warm for 4 hours and cold beverages cold for up to 12 hours. It isn’t really cute or girly, there aren’t any funky colors or anywhere for you to place pictures, and there aren’t any pretty designs on the outside. From what I saw on the website you had a choice of metallic blue, graphite or silver. However, at this point, it could have had Twilight characters on the outside of it; I needed a mug to keep my coffee warm.

When I went to Target I only found the blue and graphite colors at the store. The graphite version (Contigo AutoSeal West Loop Mug) has some red accents on the lid and so I decided on that one. The packaging boasts the 4 hours hot/12 hours cold statements I had read on the website and I actually found the graphite color to be perfectly sleek and modern. Now here is where I sound like a freaking infomercial…

This thing keeps my coffee HOT! Like hot, hot! It keeps my tea SO hot that I actually have to leave the lid off for 10-15 minutes to allow it to cool to a consumable temperature. And it does not leak. In the morning I am usually scrambling to get in my car by 6:45 am with my purse, two book bags, whatever I am going to eat for breakfast and my keys, all while trying to be quiet enough not to wake up Robby. I don’t have enough hands to keep my coffee mug upright so that it doesn’t spill. The best thing about this mug is that I can just toss it in my purse and then toss my purse into my car without worrying about it leaking, AT ALL! So yes, I give the Contigo AutoSeal West Loop Mug in graphite 6 out of 5 stars. Not only is does it look nice, but it actually delivers on its claims of maintaining beverage temperature and being leak and spill proof. I was weary at first of spending $20 on a travel mug, and many jaws dropped when I named its price, but now I think it is probably worth twice as much. Definitely recommended for anyone who doesn’t have the luxury of enjoying their coffee on the porch with the paper.

Everyday life confronts us with new problems to be solved which force us to adjust our old programs accordingly.

My original title was

With my feet on the dash, the world doesn’t matter.

But after writing I realized it didn’t feel appropriate. I guess I could have kept it as kind of a paradoxical statement to contrast with the ridiculous amount of whining in the blog. It is too early for that.

I don’t have the slightest clue as to why I have decided to blog at 3:18 am on a Sunday night/ Monday morning. I do know that I have to be up and at ‘em in about 2.5 hours. I also know that I have no idea when I will be able to breathe again.

Tomorrow/Today:

7 am- 2 pm: work

2 pm- 5 pm: rake leaves/Christmas lights (if weather permits) any extra time goes to the library.

5:30 pm- 8:30 pm: class

9-10 pm: TV date with the husband (if a new House ep. is on)

10pm- till I can no longer keep my eyes open: homework and math exit exam studying

Tuesday is pretty much the same except there is another class, more homework, and no TV date. Wednesday I must figure out how to make up a drill date and format my groups project at the same time. I also have to produce a rough draft of a 3-5 page summary for the group project, post it, and edit after reviewing any feed back. Thursday involves work and then heading to my math class to see if I pass the exit exam. If I pass (which I better) then I can just leave. If I don’t, I have to stay and review. If I can leave I will probably stop by the library if I have any last minute touches to add to the group project. Then I am heading to Tampa to see Maya and her family. WHY did I decide to take this trip right before finals week? Because if I don’t do it now, I never will be able to. Probably. We live in the same state and I haven’t seen her since MAY! So I have to get as much done as possible before Thursday. I want to leave by 4 pm to avoid as much traffic as possible.

Somewhere in this mess I need to pick up a power strip, new ink cartridges for the printer, a portfolio type thing for the group project (God only knows why I volunteered to do the final edit/format for THAT mess.) and a Christmas tree. Oh some laundry also might want to get done if I want clean underwear and I think the dishes might need to be done before a permanent crust forms on them. Though that might be easier. We can just throw them away and buy new, clean ones. I also need to call and schedule a court date to dispute the wreckless driving citation I received. It was based upon a witnesses statement that has been thrown out. Why do they call it wreckless? There was a wreck. I had to buy a new car because of it. I am sure that they will want to schedule the court date for the most inconvenient time and day, as well. Oh, and we need to do Christmas cards. And I should be receiving a phone call or a letter about physical therapy for my shoulder. That should be fun trying to squeeze that in. I also should get a call about an xray appointment for my ribs. Which is kind of pointless because even if they ARE broken guess what they can do about it? Oh yeah, nothing except go, “Yep! They’re broken! Have a nice day.”

I just have so much to do, thank God that work is not the most stressful thing in my life right now. Well, I don’t know if I should thank God for that. Work is always stressful for me. So if it isn’t the MOST stressful part of my life, that just means all of the other components are even more stressing than the one that is consistently the most stressful. STRESS! Constraining force or influence. I wouldn’t say that it is constraining in any way other than time. I have quite a bit of freedom with my stresses. Which, coincidentally, is the most stressing thing of all. If I am able to focus all of my energy and creativity into one project and/or major decision, I am fine. But I have way too many decisions that I must make! Too much stuff to produce! I need less stuff! Christmas presents! GOD! THERE IS SO MUCH STUFF! Here is some good stuff. Oh, by the way. I really, honestly, truly love my life. I don’t think I could handle this crap without the support of my my husband (who will so help me with most of this STUFF that isn’t school related) and the ear and shoulder of Tana. We don’t ask how our days went. We just tell each other. I am so incredibly grateful to have someone to vent to without being judged or “I told you so”-ed. So, back to the good stuff.

This is from a song. A song that a horribly horrible person introduced me to. Well, he couldn’t be so incredibly horrible since he had great taste in music. His one redeeming quality. Almost makes the world of hurt he put me through seem worth it. This is the song. I love the song. It reminds me of when I broke down and retreated to Goza’s futon in LA. I did so much laundry there.

I made this for Thanksgiving and I want to make it again and again and again. I’ll try not to burn the side of it next time (it was still so good despite the black crispy part) and make sure I put a cookie sheet under the pie pan next time so that I don’t end up with black smoke and burned sugar in my over. Still, it was such a good pie. Click on the pie for the recipe.

It is 4 am. Goodnight.

I don’t expect you to admit you were wrong, I just wanna know how you’ve been.

I have only been without computer for a week now, but I started school about a week after my last actual post. Which really wasn’t a good post, at all. It is 2:46 am in Florida right now and I am going to blog. I called in sick today, and I really was/am, and got some much needed rest. So of course, here I am, wide awake at this hour. Let me just start off by saying that since I have started taking English Composition, I have a lot of trouble writing. All of the grammar rules make me feel like I know nothing. Speaking of…

Two weeks ago I turned in my first essay. It was a personal narrative essay that we had to write about a life changing experience. I wrote about Maya giving birth to Jacob. I wrote about this event because it completely changed my view on birth. I am now borderline natural birth advocate. I got my essay back last week. The way this class works is we turn in two essays, each a week apart. Our professor notes any corrections or suggestions, but does not grade the essays. Then we have one week to revise one essay of our choice and turn that in for a grade. Each (graded) essay is worth like 200 points. I got my first essay back last week. Aside from a couple punctuation errors and comma splices and the misuse of the word ‘aide’ I had all positive feed back. Last week I turned in an exemplification essay. We had to write about a belief that we once held and how we were proved wrong or a myth that many other people believe. I wrote about a belief that I once held. I used to think that Harry Potter was for children. WELL tonight I found out that I probably didn’t pick the best topic and I pretty much did the essay wrong. Needless to say, I will be turning in my narrative essay for credit. HOWEVER- My professor, who is by far my favorite instructor, gave me a compliment. Now, I don’t think I am all that pretty, nor do I have very many talents. I don’t believe one would compliment me on my reading skills or my ability to watch 6 straight hours of TV, but I do love to write. When he told me that I write very well my face just about exploded with joy. I mean, he’s one of the deans of liberal arts, his opinion has to count, like, a lot, right? It’s like someone telling you that you are really funny. I find that to be a wonderful compliment, cause you can’t fake that shit. You can’t PRETEND to be funny. So my essay was a little screwed up, but the content was really good. Oh AND I am the only one in the class that got a perfect score on the subject verb agreement quiz last week. I’ll be happy to never have to deal with that again. I fully intend on taking literature next semester. I am over composition. If I didn’t think poetry was a waste of letters I might take a creative writing class, but I know they LOVE haiku’s and stuff in those classes. I am really proving my writing skills right now, aren’t I?

I would go into my other classes, but I’ll end up on a tangent. Who wants to read that? Nope, didn’t think so. Here is some visual stimulation.

I bought these shoes. I was very apprehensive because I didn’t want to look like a pirate. I wanted higher boots, but I have MCS (man-calf syndrome) and none of them would go more than half way up my leg. I’ve decided they are a bit more cowboy-ish than pirate-ish. I got them from DSW and haven’t seen them on the Steve Madden site. So I think you may only be able to get them there. They were $49.95.  You can click on the image to go to the DSW website.

I went to Sephora in search of a new eyeliner. With fall almost here and winter not far behind I won’t have to worry (too much) about my liquid eyeliner melting off of my face. Not even the worlds best primer can completely withstand Florida’s humidity! I wanted a softer color, my coloring is too fair for black black. I was looking for something in grey or dark brown in the Sephora brand. 1) Sephora brand products are much more inexpensive (NOT cheap, they are of good quality) and 2) They have quite a wide variety as far as color goes. I ended up finding the Sephora Long Lasting Metallic Eyeliner in Dark Grey. It wasn’t all that metallic, so it doesn’t look like I used a gel pen or something to put on my makeup, and it is much softer than black. It was only $10. Also, the applicator is super user friendly.

I also found this little gem. Stila Made In Your Shade Foundation Wardrobe. It is a nice collection of foundations by Stila, ranging from illuminated tinted moisturizer to a natural finish oil free foundation. It includes a moisturizing primer and a “convertible color” compact. The convertible color is a pink cream that doubles as cheek and lip color. I use Bare Minerals almost everyday, but sometimes I like a little more coverage. I am intimidated by liquid foundation, though. I think this set is great because there is no real commitment. There are four foundations to choose from and each tiny tube offers quite a bit of use so you really have the opportunity to compare each one. I haven’t tried them all, but so far the illuminated tinted foundation is a little light, I like to wear it under my Bare Minerals if I want more coverage. The GOOD thing about it being so light is that I CAN wear it with my Bare Minerals, get more coverage, but not feel like my makeup is caked on. The oil free natural finish foundation seems to offer the most coverage, but I still feel the need to put a loose powder on afterward. It, too, felt very light on my skin, but did take care of the redness and dark circles. I would recommend an additional concealer for any blemishes. The primer is kind of so-so. It didn’t melt off of my face like the Bare Minerals Prime Time or the Smashox Photo Op, but it didn’t seem to give a real stick like my Laura Geller Spackle. Still, I’ve only used it twice. Now the convertible color. I LOVE this stuff. Though, I bought the “Light” color kit, so I don’t know about the other packages and colors, but I do NOT like this on my lips. It is a pale pink, which looks weird on me. I know some people love that kind of pale Barbie-ish pink. And I am not knocking them, it just doesn’t look good on me. But I love it as a cream blush. Awesome stuff. Best part? Only $18. See? No commitment at all.

I also picked up some more DiorShow Iconic mascara. Steep at $27, but oh-so-worth-it. Some of the reviews say it is clumpy. I bought this for my sister-in-law’s birthday. A couple weeks after she saw it on me she wanted it. She said it was clumpy at first but it just took her a while to work with it. She loves it now.

One of my favorite recent purchases is the Neutrogena Moisture Shine Lip Soother. I actually bought two. They were about $6 at Target or Wal-Mart. My lips get REALLY chapped when the weather changes and most lip stuff just sits on top of the dry skin. This stuff TASTES great, has a nice shine without being super sticky, stays on your lips longer, has a SLIGHT cooling sensation (not like super minty or lip plumper tingle) AND *ta-da* it MOISTURIZES! Love it.

Oh, it is almost 4 am. Let’s wrap this up. New favorite purse. Mine is actually in peach, but this is the only color they show on the website. It was on sale for $40 at Urban Outfitters. It’s super soft, very roomy and there are some pockets inside for organizing. Any of the faux leather material from the Deux Lux line feels so nice and it really lasts.

I bought a new comforter set for our bedroom. I needed something a bit warmer (*for winter*), really comfy (*for cuddles*), durable (*for the dog*), and something that matched because I didn’t want to deal with replacing the curtains. I found this set at Home Goods. I’d been looking at it for several months but always talked myself out of it because it was like $80 and I can’t bring myself to spend that much on a BLANKET. But when I went in the other day it was on clearance. FOR $50! Also (this was a sign) they only had a twin and a full. I took a chance and bought the full. If they had a queen, I would have bought the queen, and it would have been too big. Our bed is really low to the ground so the full was PERFECT! I couldn’t find it online, but here is a picture. It’s from some brand called paul&leroy.

And last, but certainly not least. All American Eagle sunglasses are on sale for like $7. I go through sunglasses like toilet paper so I never spend more than $20 on a pair. I take really good care of them for a couple months, but then something tragic always happens and they end up scratched or broken. It’s a curse. I popped into American Eagle just to browse and I couldn’t believe that they were so inexpensive. The website has some listed at $10, but in the store they had more selections and they were ALL $6.95. Even the men’s. I bought two pairs. Couldn’t pass up such a good deal. In fact, online this pair is listed at $10, but I got them in the store for $7.

I linked all photos to their respective websites.

I would like to go to Africa. Jessica Goza has joined the peace corps and leave for Guinea in November/December. I firmly believe that if she could have visited me in Iraq she would have, so I would like to visit her in Africa. Because I can. However it will cost me about $2,000. So any and all donations are greatly appreciated. Haha, I am just kidding. But I really plan on going to Africa. I am very excited. What is the weather like in Guinea. Maybe I should be asking about the political and social climates, instead. Right?

Ice Cream Fondue

Ice Cream Fondue

Originally uploaded by annamatic3000

omg i need to have this in my life. now.

How many ounces in a cup!?

So I made coffee today. And despite working aT Starbucks for maybe a month, if I go more than two days without making coffee I forget how to do it. So I am CONSTANTLY reading the back of the can, or tub, or package. Whatever my coffee of the moment happens to come in. (Currently Café Du Monde that I picked up from Gumbo YaYa’s here in Jax) The instructions on the back of ALL of them instruct you to add ___ tablespoons of coffee for every 6 ounces of water. 6. 6. SIX!!! Why? Did someone just decide that is how much? Who? Why? It certainly can’t be out of convenience! Because a CUP of water is 8 ounces! And the little gauge on the side that shows how much water you’ve added? It’s divided up by 8 ounce cups! It’s kind of like our yard to everyone else’s meter. Like a yard is ALMOST a meter, but not quite. And it fucks all kinds of shit up in sports. Except American football cause we’re the only asshats that play that game. Anywho. I am just grateful that my coffee cups are 12 ounces, because it does make it a bit easier for me. I just get so angry whenever I read the back of the coffee and I see that.

Oh, this game is super fun. Just click your mouse and try and make the ladybugs run into each other. I posted it on twitter, but my account is private there. Not that many other people read this than that! SUPER FUN LADYBUG GAME!!!

I’m in California, there’s no clever way to say that.

Robby: “Why aren’t you cuddling with me?”

Me: “Because I’m blogging.”

Robby: “Psh!”

_________

I am sitting on my sisters couch watching something about young hollywood on E!. I’ve only heard them talk about the Jonas Brothers (I giggled when they referred to their youngest brother, Frankie, as a “Bonus Jonas”)  and Miley Cyrus. Billy Ray has nicer hair than me. Robby is snoozing on the couch next to me. We just picked up a rental car and McDonalds breakfast. Even though logic tells me that we should feel like 7 am is actually 10 am, it still feels likes 7. THe crisp, cold, California air definitely plays a part in that. I am not really missing the humidity, especially since it is so heavy in Florida right now. But shit, it’s AUGUST! Shouldn’t it be a LITTLE warm here? No one warned me! I thought it might be at least 75*! It’s like 84 in Jacksonville right now. But the humidity is at 51% and its probably raining. Anywho, we’ll probably stop at Old Navy or something and grab some sweaters or something warmer! I brought all tank tops and dresses! I want to go into Fairfield and stop by CosmoProf to see Erika and Tyger. But I think I might take a nap first. It is very hard for me to type all of this, I am exhausted! I don’t really have a lot of plans, I think every one is working today, we’ll probably just cruise around, maybe go on a Jelly Belly Tour! HAHAHA! Ok, adios, call me if you like, 904-400-2678! I’ll check my twitter through out the day, too.

Oh, here is my new hair!

keep on keeping on…

I think from now on when shit sucks I’ll just read this:

I’ve stopped taking myself so seriously. I can take a step back and laugh at myself. Sometimes I can get a really big charge out of what an absolute idiot I am. I’ll have this big intellectual stumbling block right in my way, and suddenly I’ll realize, Hey, who put the damn stumbling block there in the first place? That right: Mister Serious Artist Person!

            Whoa, I just crack up when that happens. Actually I’m a real easy laugher. I’ll laugh at anybody who’s being phony or pretentious. I’ll laugh at anybody who’s trying to make it the best they know how. I’ll laugh at anybody.

 

Now I’m in a whole new place. That other, older part of my life seems like some sort of surrealist joke that a bunch of my old buddies got together and pulled on me. Like they all got behind the furniture and waited until they heard me drive up, then they all jumped out and hit me with that part of my life.

But now I have to deal with now. I need some help on my clothes, so I just go manic and call everybody I can think of. They give me a lot of advice, but ultimately I’m the person under the hammer. It is I who have to wear the clothes, not all these well-wishers and hangers-on. Not the current artist of the month. Not all these vapid, air-brained media types. It will be me putting on the pants. It will be me pulling up the socks. I know how to do this. I’ve been at it for quite awhile. I dressed myself for a long time before anybody was paying attention, and I’ll dress myself a long time after everybodys paying attention to the way somebody else dresses himself. I know how these things go.

So what do I do? First I admit that I don’t know what to do. Then I tell myself that I’m not alone, nobody else knows what to do either.

            Once I’ve got that out of the way, I can start.

 

            There’s nothing permanent about this. I know that now. Tomorrow I’ll be faced with more problems, but they won’t be today’s problems, they’ll be newer, different problems. I can deal with it. I know what I’m doing.

 

From “I Know What I’m Doing About All the Attention I’ve Been Getting” by Frank Gannon